End-of-Life, Grief/Grieving/Bereavement, Health Conditions/Diseases, Healthcare, Social Work/Helping Profession/Mental Health

Important End of Life Discussions between Patient and Doctor Needed…

This is a very good article that discusses the important of physicians having the much needed discussion about end of life and dying with their patients.

“There is no “right” answer for how patients should respond to a terminal illness. It’s a deeply personal decision based on a complex array of spiritual, social, financial and emotional needs.” BUT- physician or other healthcare professionals.”

Patients who are terminal can only make these tough choices if their doctor (s) are trained and able to share bad news. Yet many doctors receive zero training on how to have these hard conversations and less than a third of primary care physicians receive instruction in end-of-life treatment.

Fortunately, some medicals schools have noticed this training gap and are evolving their curricula to fill it. Stanford’s medical school orientation now includes a discussion of the ethics of death. George Washington University Medical School offers a full course about dying.

Johns Hopkins goes a step further and actually assigns students to write instructions for their own end-of-life care, an exercise that forces them to confront the difficult decisions terminal patients face.

That to me is interesting as what better way to have a discussion about a taboo or fearful topic is to think about and write out what you would do or choose.

In my head I have had this conversation with myself many times and I think I know what I would choose if I was ever in that situation of being diagnosed with a terminal illness. Not long ago a friend and I were talking about a person who was diagnosed with breast cancer. We each had different reactions to this news and answers as what we would do regarding treatment.

For me, depending on if it was localized (1 spot) or not; meaning it had spread-I would seek the least invasive treatment. Chemo to me is a last choice and only if it has a good chance of making a difference. From what I have been exposed to both personally and professionally-chemo has a negative effect on the person with cancer and causes other health issues along with destroying all the good things about you physically. It is poison!

I would seek a healthy diet, exercise, alternative therapies to assist with symptoms and pain and would want to spend as much quality time as possible with my family and friends vs. in a hospital receiving chemo and being sick daily afterwards. Where is the quality of life in that? But this is me and my choice. Others may and have chosen differently. That is what makes us unique. This is why the medical team from the physician to the nurse to the social worker and other medical personnel need to be trained to have discussions about the disease, illness, treatment options and be prepared to talk.

And honestly, unless we are going through this ourselves-we can listen, discuss all the options, be empathic and supportive, but ultimately it should be the patient who make the decision regarding treatment or not.

 

http://www.kevinmd.com/blog/2016/09/silencing-end-life-discussions-fails-terminal-patients.html?utm_content=buffer4f3c5&utm_medium=social&utm_source=linkedin.com&utm_campaign=buffer

End-of-Life, Grief/Grieving/Bereavement, Social Work/Helping Profession/Mental Health

How Does One Offer Condolences?

 

This is a very informative article on offering condolences. Quite often people do not know what to say, what to write, what to do. I like the suggestion of sharing memories. If you know the person who died well enough; I am sure you can think of a good memory to share.

‘Remove yourself from the conversation’ is also a very good suggestion. When someone is grieving they do not want to hear about you and your loss, they want to talk about their family, friend, pet who died; again catch yourself and share a memory instead.

Another article- Why Not to Say ‘How Can I Help?’ to the Grief-Ridden
Don’t ask the bereaved what you can do — just do something by Jill Smolowe.

Also a very good article with great advice and suggestions, do vs. asking. Quite often the bereaved cannot answer that question. Bring food, pick up the kids, take the dog out, go grocery shopping, clean, do the laundry……. DO vs. Asking what to do.

End-of-Life, Grief/Grieving/Bereavement, Social Work/Helping Profession/Mental Health

Grieving the people we’ve loved and lost — ideas.ted.com

This is such a great piece! I very much agree that when one dies and leaves the physical realm of this earth-people can still communicate in their own personal way through imagination, candle lighting, visiting the gravesite, looking at pictures or bringing up memories.

Whenever I miss my grandmother, I can turn to the many letters we wrote one another. I can look at photos, I can bring up happy memories.

 

-We can stay connected to them by creating our own special rituals, says psychologist and grief expert Kim Bateman. In 1990, one of my younger brothers died in an avalanche while extreme skiing. He was only 21, and the horrific memory I have from that time is of his body lying at the bottom of…

via Grieving the people we’ve loved and lost — ideas.ted.com

Grief/Grieving/Bereavement, Social Work/Helping Profession/Mental Health

Crying when grieving is not losing composure — Loss, Grief, Bereavement and Life Transitions Resource Library

Take a look at this article on crying and grief… You can also download the Grief Recovery Institute’s- The Grief Recovery Method and Six Concepts that Prevent You from Moving Forward.

 

Source: Crying is not losing composure

via Crying when grieving is not losing composure — Loss, Grief, Bereavement and Life Transitions Resource Library

End-of-Life, Grief/Grieving/Bereavement, Social Work/Helping Profession/Mental Health

Survivor’s Guilt? In short, this was all my fault – Still Standing Magazine — Loss, Grief, Bereavement and Life Transitions Resource Library

The utter heartbreak of delivering a stillborn, a baby who is premature-IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!  When a baby does not make it to fruition, it is in the cards that it be so. One born with complications…think about it.

I had two miscarriages and I get it. I delivered one at home so I know the pain, I know the sorrow…

But, as I had one child already I knew I could do it. My timing was not right, my body was not ready. My first took over two years to sleep through the night so I was sleep deprived. My body, my mind was tired…

I focused on me. I did therapeutic massage therapy, acupuncture, took herbal supplements to get my strength back. I spent time with family and friends and eventually a 2nd was born.

Do not give up hope and realize sometimes the universe has a different plan.

 

 

Source: In short, this was all my fault – Still Standing Magazine

via Survivor’s Guilt? In short, this was all my fault – Still Standing Magazine — Loss, Grief, Bereavement and Life Transitions Resource Library

End-of-Life, Grief/Grieving/Bereavement, Social Work/Helping Profession/Mental Health

Grief, Anxiety, and Panic Attacks | Gary Roe — Loss, Grief, Bereavement and Life Transitions Resource Library

I cannot imagine one of my kids dying. The pain, the loss, the anger, the realization that they are no longer here. I can imagine the grief and grieving though.

I have been exposed to death for many years and have had many extended family members die, along with clients. I am a social worker/case manager with seniors. As I have worked at the same organization for almost 18 years, I have had many clients die and clients that I have known for years.

Take a look at this article-it is a good resource/reference material.

 

Source: Grief, Anxiety, and Panic Attacks | Gary Roe

via Grief, Anxiety, and Panic Attacks | Gary Roe — Loss, Grief, Bereavement and Life Transitions Resource Library

End-of-Life, Grief/Grieving/Bereavement, Social Work/Helping Profession/Mental Health

Shared via Rea L. Ginsberg – The Holocaust: Bereavement takes a different course — Loss, Grief, Bereavement and Life Transitions Resource Library

As a professional who has worked with Holocaust Survivors for almost 18 years as a group facilitator and case manager, I can easily say their grief is different and life lasting. Imagine suffering as they did and losing entire families, being the only survivor out of 10, 30, 60 people when you think of extended family members. Imagine returning to your town, city or country after the war and almost every Jew is gone?

This is definitely an article worth reading!

 

Source: The Holocaust: Bereavement takes a different course

via Shared via Rea L. Ginsberg – The Holocaust: Bereavement takes a different course — Loss, Grief, Bereavement and Life Transitions Resource Library